Knot, tied

by M.J. Hearle

I’m married.

Not sure exactly how it happened – only that it did happen. I have the ring on my finger and everything. And a wife. Somehow I collected one of those too. Funny, the way life works out. I never thought of myself as the ‘marrying type’. The institution itself just never held much appeal. I couldn’t tell you why? My parents are still happily married as are most of my friends parents, so it’s not like I grew up surrounded by broken homes or dysfunctional families.

I have vague memories of going to a few traditional Catholic weddings when I was a kid which might have soured me slightly against marriage. The ceremonies were deathly boring and the whole business of wearing a stuffy suit and being the focus of attention for a crowd (and having to kiss a girl in front of all those people – yuck!) wasn’t terribly appealing. Then again nothing about going to church was ever terribly appealing when I was young. If you’d told me, the priest had enlisted Cirque du Soleil to deliver the most entertaining sermon of all time, I still would’ve dragged my feet.  

Despite this apathy towards marriage, I always assumed I’d meet someone, fall in love and have a family. Living in sin is what the stalwart Christians call and it sounded just fine to me. And then something happened. I met a girl for whom marriage was important. So I started thinking about it differently. Perhaps it wasn’t a redundant, antiquated notion? Maybe it meant something.

Having now been the ordeal (and it was something of an ordeal – two control freaks do not blissful wedding planners make), I’ve come to the conclusion that it does. The whole exchanging vows thing, standing in front of your friends and family, the kiss – it means something. This specific meaning eludes me but I can feel it, even if I can’t articulate it. Enough, anyway, to blog about it. My wife and I were close before – hell, you better be if you’re gonna get married – but that ‘closeness’ has a different quality now. A calmness or stillness – an absence of anxiety which I’d never really noticed before but feel a whole lot better having shed.

This doesn’t mean I’ve transformed into an advocate for marriage or anything but I’m glad I did it. And I certainly believe it should be an option for everyone regardless of their sexuality. I’ve pasted below some content from Rodney Croome, the National Convener of Australian Marriage Equality which contains a couple of links. It’ll take less than a minute to click on them and doing so will support the marriage equality movement.

From Rodney: 

Here are two quick things you can do to support marriage equality now.

 
1. An ad commissioned by Australian Marriage Equality has beennominated for an International Broadcast Design Award. Your vote will help our ad win the award and raise the profile of marriage equality in Australia. Click here to vote.

2. AME’s executive officer, John Kloprogge, has submitted a marriage equality question via the Our Say website to Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey. If the question receives enough votes Mr Hockey will have to explain why he opposes marriage equality despite his electorate supporting it. You have 7 votes to cast. Click here to vote for John’s question.

 
And of course, if you live in Brisbane, Perth, Sydney or Melbourne, don’t forget to attend marriage equality rallies this weekend. Sydneysiders are also urged to attend the AME Forum, The Future of Marriage Equality, on Sunday.
 
Thank you for your continued support,
 
Rodney Croome
National Convener
Australian Marriage Equality 

This is ostensibly a blog about writing, not marriage (and certainly not politics – whoops!) so why have I chosen to devote an entire post to that very topic? Have I succumbed to the social media disease of over-sharing? No. You won’t find me posting about mysterious rashes or why I can’t find a pair of comfortable shoes or the tragedy of a receding hairline. This is a place to discuss stories and writing. A post about my wedding is a way of putting a full-stop on an uncompleted sentence. One that’s greedily gobbled all my attention. Now, it’s time to get on with the business at hand. There are no more excuses not to be blogging, not to be writing, not to be creating. The blank page calls. Finally, I can answer. 

M.J.

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